追梦战士，赞！！！

这两天一直在追《中国好歌曲》。哇！！！藏龙卧虎！！！ 我只看到，听到雷雷战鼓，冲天的坚韧！赞。

这么多梦想的追寻者，和他们的坎坷，艰辛和付出比起来，我真的是太，太，太他妈的幸运了！！！

哥听的不是歌，听的是寂寞

致同在路中的追梦人，你懂的。。。

梦的堡垒
http://v.qq.com/cover/b/bhcskrkfmfydat2/n00133d1tad.html

氢气球，飞上天，
以为不朽。
我的双脚，
抵不在，路的引诱。
从今天起，
不再做货架的罐头。
从今天起，
再痛也要自己走。
放肆地被击碎，才发现我的梦，
躲在坚强坚强的堡垒！
疯狂地被击退，才发现我的梦，
躲在坚强坚强的堡垒！
有些伤口，莫名痛，
变成理由。
现实这借口，说太久，
变成理由。
从今天起，
做独自奔跑的犀牛。
从今天起，
再痛也要自己走。
创伤地被击碎，才发现我的梦，
躲在坚强坚强的堡垒！
疯狂地被击退，才发现我的梦，
住在坚强坚强的堡垒！
疯狂地被击退，才发现我的梦，
住在坚强坚强的堡垒！
疯狂地被击退，才发现我的梦，
住在坚强坚强的堡垒！

伤
http://v.qq.com/cover/b/bhcskrkfmfydat2/r0013pghbyy.html
我需要一个理由，安抚破碎的信念，脱下沉重的躯壳。
想隐藏一个谎言，掩饰着卑微的脆弱，不能再回到从前。
当所有的人失去，原本该有的冲动，怎么改变。
伤！！！
在背后，
抽刺着我，不保留。
重拾所有的伤痛，
想要撑着，我不会痛，
伤！！！
在胸口，
拉扯着我，不保留。
冲破所有的嘲弄，挣脱枷锁。
就让热血痛快汹涌。
我需要一个理由，安抚破碎的信念，脱下沉重的躯壳。
伤！！！
在背后，
撕裂着我，燃烧我，
想像磨灭的曲折。
怎么继续，我不会痛。
伤！！！
在胸口，
拉扯着我，沸腾我。
冲破所有嘲弄。

《我雖死去》， 新年新期盼，GCD早日倒台！

终于明白了那句话，孩子，不是老人变坏，而是坏人变老了！

什么玩意！文革这个疤不能揭呀，简直就是人间地狱。。。

GCD是人类文明的奇葩，原始社会在现代文明的延续。。。

难怪港片不行了

今天看完了徐克的狄仁杰之通天帝国，实在是。。。差不忍睹！故事太牵强，情节发展太没逻辑。真不知道在看什么？还居然安排了一个潜规则的戏码，天后要我服侍大人，居然就是脱！！！晕倒。。。难道是演艺圈的潜规则太多，没有就不正常！虽然老狄同意出力，还是要弄个女人上保险！！！免得他不办事。 如果真办事，天后也需要弄个小三反腐！！！！

徐克的作品也沦落到这个水平了。。。缅怀我的年轻时光呀。。。看来我是真老了！

Outside world is wonderful!!!

Today just finish the study on the Require.js module concept and realize that my seeking is already implemented and my direction is right, to divide the whole website into modules (widgets) and load them when it is necessary. This idea emerged from 2 years ago for the mobile stock trading system. Although it is my first web/mobile project, my network system development experience make me more focus on the system data volume & network traffic. Because of the tight schedule, I didn't really fully implement it. Unit now, my own system, I decide to implement the dynamic loading feature, which the formal name should be Asynchronous Module Definition. After finish the JS/CSS/HTML loading based on the jQuery widget object, I happened to re-study the require.js. 

Then Shit!. That is what I need, asynchronous module loading, i18n... And all are nicely implemented, well organised.  After reading its history, I feel a little upset to find this nice tool late. 

Instead of struggling on why boss doesn't judge staff based on the performance, how could those guys be so shameless to take others credit or shifting the responsibility, these guys are who I am looking for. Suddenly recall my answer to my boss exist view question, 

Boss: "well, you can't work with peoples"

Me: "Well, how can I work with them?! like xxx incident, even black and white, they can lie!!!"

For sure, I can't work them. Because,

Outside world is so wonderful!  

Another HR Person

After the Monday lunch with the resigning HR manager from my ex-company, I wondering whether it is because of the HR person over professional that most company can't build up the environment like that taught in the management books.  Seems they lacks the basic sincerity. Maybe it is because their job, they have to deal with all kinds of peoples, you know, that is the area not always under the sun.

Most HR persons who I deal with before, not pleasant, one hand they will talk about the supportive, passion... all glory stuff; another hand, they they don't really believe it. 

Suddenly recall another HR person in my ex-company, is so "cool" and emotionless when she processes your request. But she will show you the warmest smile when talking about the company culture, working environment... 

So what happened this time? Shit, it is so fake!!!

I was touched when she insisted on farewell with me back when I was leaving this company 6 months ago. And really appreciate what she shared with me, 

1. Listening to people is the key for teamwork & cooperation, which is lacked in this company. And it is far from easy like it sounds.
2. Most HR persons works for their believing. The company culture must match with them, otherwise they will quit immediately. 
3. She is strong mind and still believe she can improve the company culture. After all, she just join the company 1+ year

Woh! Wise and kind person! I like it. I even regret that I should know these persons earlier. It is such a big lost. But lucky, in the last minute, I still got chance to catch the wise.

So when recently I learn that she is leaving, I am so surprise!!!  my ex-company lose the talent again!? I can't help to invite her for lunch and hope she is all right. Then got all the following surprises. Are they same person?  

1. Financial industry isn't her industry. She dislike this industry and can't settle on this industry. In October (after my leave 4 months), she finally make it out.
2. This company main problem is decision process isn't clear, not professional, not like her previous companies, NTUC child care, NUS...
3. This company is full of empathy although it may be a issue. And very strong teamwork! which may make your miss when you really get chance learn those big name company from inside, Apple, since they lack it! 

At beginning I was shock and can't get her points and slowly realize that I am so fool!. HR is just her job. Now I start to confirm my initial doubt on her sudden farewell invitation is true, she just worked for her boss to confirm whether my leave is because of that staff fire event and collect the comments on the company. 

But I am still inspired by "her wise" words, listening is the key for the teamwork and corporation. Like my favourite idiom, "No one can do anything to the person who keep lying.  It is just in the end, he/she can't believe others anymore". 

Such a pity job, HR is !

理不辩不明

这两天追完了薄熙来的文字转播。不得不佩服薄熙来的功力。虽然一直不是很喜欢他，而在他搞了唱红之后尤其讨厌他做秀的模样。这次审判倒是让我眼前一亮。在看完了他及证人的证词后，感觉到一种莫名的悲哀。这帮人到底每天都是一个什么样的心理状态呀！在杯觥交错之后入眠前的1分钟，是否会感到一种落寞。办公室里充满了算计，家里也是机关重重。那样的日子有意思吗？ 

相信他是一个工作能力很强的人，就这样把他拉下马和他过去种种的极具争议的唱红打黑难道仅仅是他个人的过错？在我看来他的结局其实在他进入那样一个只唯上和绝对的权利的体系时，就已经注定他的结局了。如果通过做秀而由下至上的改变上头的意思，那就不是现在的中国了。

一个在这样的贪腐风行的官场，如果真的就只有500万公款和一套别墅，以他的权位也真的是够清廉了！！！

老兵永远不会死，他们只是悄然隐去 - 缅怀星爷的经典《大话西游》

怀着爆棚的期待看完了我心目中的经典《大话西游》的续集《西游降魔》。却发现自己是不是真的是进入恐龙时代了，与现在的年轻人掉钩了。实在是看不出来这个片子怎么可能如此的超人气。满片尽是为了无厘头而无厘头的对白。人物为了搞笑而搞笑的出场安排。与我心目中的经典实在是差太远。不知道是不是因为经典的发酵而导致了这个实在是不怎么样的片子高票房，原本我也是准备一定要进影院看看这个后续是如何延续传奇的。现在看看，还好没有去。江郎既已才尽，还是将自己的经典定格吧！为何要狗尾续貂。

人始终要老去的。。。

Don't waste my time

在辞职2个月后，居然越来越有活力。虽然理论上我应该萎靡不振才对。秘诀就是“Don't waste my time”。这句话是一个Phillip的同事送我的。在听到那句话的晚上，我居然气得头发晕，到了3，4点才睡。这真的是第一次这么生气。这么夸张？因为这句话是我正在加班加点的赶进度而故意Email给老板表明项目的Delay与之无关而说的。其实他不知道的是我早就已经向老板们表明，我愿意担负项目延误的责任了。而这位太监式的员工每天悠闲的准点上班下班，以前不时“好意”提醒我在这个公司，不需要太认真干活。就是这样一个人居然埋怨别人浪费了他的时间！！！我真的是彻底被打败了。而这倒是说出了一个我一直都没有搞明白的问题：Why others buy this？？ 原因就是Time。在公司我们总是有“敌人”，可能是老板，同事，下属。我们没有搞明白的是，真正的敌人其实是时间。时间不是我们的朋友。

在这过去的2个月中，当我必须为自己的生计发愁而必须真正学习牛X人的系统时才发现我原来错过了这么多好东西。真的是Waste My Time！！！而时间，就是在不停的揣测老板们的心情，不停的参加毫无意义的会议，不停地给完全不明白的外行重复解释系统的Design，不停地回答门外汉的Concern...中流失掉了。Fuck! 真的不愧蠢货的称号。那就是不知道自己是个蠢货。而牛人5年前就已经清楚的发布如何Hacking Iphone Apps 了http://blog.gauravgiri.com/2008/07/drm-fail/。 估计在牛人发布的时后，我正在跟傻逼解释Push/Poll的difference吧，晕倒， waste my time。。。

天道酬勤！过去的几年还是收获了很多管理上的经验。以后我应该是不可能在很上心的给外行解释什么是Push，什么是Poll了。也不会和一个太监式的人渣搅到一起，更不会花一下午的时间听太监的牢骚了。

而最宝贵的收获是我终于彻底明白了我自己的一个问题： Why others need buy your product？答案就是：时间。

我们每个人都在老去，死去。我们没有可能什么都自己做。所以任何可以节约我们时间的Product，我们都是愿意购买的。所以生意是什么？了解我们自己到底正在费力的干着什么，提供一个Product/Service来减少我们自己的麻烦，然后就可以卖了。而对于软件产品来说，现在有一个其他产品都没有的便利渠道，App Store！

千金难买明白！种种的郁闷也算值了！

Uncertain last day 29/May/2013

Had thought my last day is 27/May. But HR informed me I can't take the 2 days child care leave any more. OK. wait... Today when I go up for the form submission. I am informed, there still some interview and acceptance of resignation to be done. Wah.... faint... But OK. Wait..... I have to go down to the 6 floor to wait for the exit interview by using the spare computer. I have handed in my computer... how can I work? when I sit here quietly and fill in the questions in the exit form, suddenly got a different feeling on the work. It seems I am too enthusiastic on my job before. I like this current "quiet" environment, not too many personal emotion stuff, not so much worry or concern on the relationship... it is so nice and easily focus on the job itself.  Just imagine if in the past I can realize this and don't focus on the "relationship" and "personal emotion" too much, my mind will be much delight and won't enter so much emotion conflict anymore. So want to relax your staff ? Then put some water on your team relationship. ;) cool the "warm relationship" down.

Nice feeling, so fresh.

In fact, everyone is eager for the respect and appreciation from others. As a boss, I do terrible job in the past. The world is different. Should not put so much on the staff weakness. Should spend more time on the team building (= wisely combine every staff's strength to achieve the goal )

Respect & Trust (Integrity + Competence)

Incredible Google

I know Microsoft is not my idol even when I support it so much in university. I can't feel its spirit or inspiration although at that time it is so success. Finally in the past 2 years, I find out my actual idol company, Apple & Google.

Apple 

It is heroic company, it the legend of Steve Jobs. He is my idol as engineer because of his passion, his inovation and creative. Although its team is strong, Apple is more like a man show. (Sorry, my mistake. it is just because his team doesn't really run themselves as business man.)

Google  

It is incredible company. I am amazing on its culture. How could it manage to quietly build for last? It always focus on the foundation of eco system, searching engine, maps, browser, mobiles system, smart car... When now I am planning my small adventure,  I start to realize how much it can support me, Google App Engine!. At the same time I know it attracts all the small business into its eco system inevitably, just like the BLACK HOLE!!! 

What kinds of company culture can attract so many talents and give so much time and patience to breed the new initiative and innovation. 

It is wonderful! My shock is because of my corporate experience from my current company. It will never happen in my current company. 

Hope I can have the chance to build a similar culture and team as Google. 

Create a comfortable working environment and let the professionals enjoy what they are working on. 

Resign Count Down, Day 5

Finally I quite the company, Phillip, which I have been worked for 8 years. Not short. in fact, it is too long. I have been thinking about "quit" for almost 2 years. Until that old man, big boss, murmured, hen... 2 years already, the project, still not finished... No one understand how big impact on me, this simple words. Shit,.... I have wasted another 2 years!!!

Raise your hand, 5 fingers are your whole life.

Thumb: 0 ~ 10 Years
It is short and stay alone. It is just like your baby period. Your life relies on others. And you are so eager to become older!

Index: 10 ~ 20
That is you! young and pasion. You know you can do something, even no one believe in you. You work and study harder. Prepare yourself for that day.

Middle: 30 ~ 40
For some talents, such as Steve Jobs, they already build up their reputation. But most peoples, like me, still feel I am not ready. Still need more time.

That is me. Finally I say, Shit! What kinds of jerks I am wasting time with. Even put out all the facts on the black and white, they still don't understand and even willing to admit they are wrong. What they are pursuing is just "don't touch my rice bow before my retirement". and unbelievable affirmation, "I know your point, you just want to tell me, because of your past good records, I need trust you, isn't it???"

I can not understand how a boss to judge his staffs performance without the actual output! Oh, shit, forget, this stupid company believing, Potential Staff!.

So.... I quit! :) it is so wise decision. Then in the past 5 days, I realize how fast the outside world is changing. Google ! It is incredible company. slowly build up so many assets. ;). Ya, SJ is my idol as engineer. But Google will be the winner, Built for Last!